Youngstown Eats: Schmidt's Restaurant und Sausage Haus

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Schmidt's Restaurant und Sausage Haus - Columbus

Well…it’s good to be back after the two month hiatus in which I tried to mingle politics and food. Maybe it’s not such a stretch. I have never met an underfed politician!!! As you can tell from the Mark Knows It All blog, I was in Columbus this past week. And as such…I ate in several of those “wonderful” Columbus restaurants. Let’s face it. Columbus food sucks; not a pretty comment, but true! They cook different than we do, and I am glad I live here and not there. I know folks who have moved back to the Mahoning Valley just because the food is better…seriously.

That being said, for OSU grads like me who make numerous trips back and forth from our state capital, we still have to eat. One of the mainstays of any semi-regular visitor is Schmidt’s Sausage Haus located on Kossuth Street in the German Village district. Everyone goes there. Go often enough, you will probably see your next door neighbor stopping in for some schnitzel or a Brat sandwich. During football season, the trek to Schmidt’s is mandatory. You can get a thousand extra years in purgatory if you don’t go! Worse yet, they may pull your name from the football lottery!!!

I have made many a trek down to Schmidt’s since 1968, and this visit to Columbus was no exception. Here’s the problem. I don’t like it, and I don’t think I ever did. Maybe it’s a function of getting older, or the novelty wore off years ago. Whatever the reason, this trip I finally admitted what I have been thinking for years every time I walk through the door…what in God’s name am I doing here?

I begin by saying that if you haven’t been here, it is a Columbus tradition and you should go at least once. German Village is a beautiful and historic part of Columbus with lovely brick houses and narrow streets. You couldn’t design this type of area from scratch if you tried. The restaurant itself fits right in, looking like German beer hall both outside and in.

Go through the front door and you pass it’s take out section with one refrigerated case filled with various types of sausages and another filled with its rich, cream filled pastries and other desserts. All of the wait staff is appropriately attired in German costume. When you are done eating, you can visit the little gift shop across the street that sells fudge and chotchkies. It is especially nice in the summer, when you can go outside while you wait for a table..and avoid the absolute chaos inside the restaurant proper.

Let’s start with the “getting in” phase. Come on the wrong night, and you can wait an hour plus for a table. The waiting area is cramped with a horrible traffic pattern trying to get to the hostess station to give them your name and number. People are climbing all over one another. It is hot. It is claustrophobic. Want to go to the bar to get a beer while you wait for a table? Fuggetaboutit!! The bar is tiny and located behind those cream puff cases and the hostess stand and all of those people. If you are lucky enough to snag a barstool, guard it with your life.

They have an oompah band, consisting of two people who play multiple instruments…all at the same time. It is scary. They have had the same guys playing there for years. They are soooo loud. And if you are unfortunate enough to be assigned a table right in front of them after you have stood in line for an hour, better have your ears checked when you leave for loss of hearing. This past time I had to tell the hostess don’t even think about putting us there when it looked like that is where we would end up.

They have a full service menu which is nice enough if you like German food. It is filled with sauerbraten and schnitzel, which aren’t half bad. Sandwiches seem to be a better choice. The Reuben is good. Their signature sandwich is the Bahama Mama! But they try to plug their buffet, which comes with one entrée and an array of the different kind of sausages. Many people who are of the “all you can eat” ilk like it. I have never seen the attraction and avoid it, especially because this tends to be a family place and the lil’ darlins’ like to hang around the buffet. It comes with a dessert discount.

The food here is consistently okay. There is not much you can do to hurt schnitzel..and there isn’t much you can do to help it either. It’s just schnitzel. The Sauerbraten is tasty. They have great sauerkraut balls. The desserts look spectacular…but in my humble opinion, they look better than they taste, which is not that unusual for these kinds of desserts. Cream puffs are offered with either whipped cream or custard fillings. The German Chocolate cake is probably the best I have had.

Whether the food is good or bad fades into insignificance by the time you finally sit down and acclimate yourself to the very loud noise levels and the harried service.

If you can go there on an off night, you’re probably better off unless you are in an uber party mood and love to sing German drinking songs with the oompah band.

My rating: Three bratwurst meatballs.