It’s the middle of June and the season of the White Nights…the longest days of the year. So I got my honey and shuffled off to Pittsburgh to enjoy the extra hours of daylight. What should we eat tonight? German food sounded good given that I was wearing my liederhausen and all. So we thought we would pay a visit to Max’s Allegheny Tavern, a dining landmark on Pittsburgh’s north side.
Max’s Allegheny Tavern has a long and checkered history. The business itself was started as a saloon in another nearby location in the early 1800’s as various groups, including the Germans, migrated across the river from Pittsburgh to live in the fashionable Allegheny City. As the area grew, the saloon moved to the current location and morphed into a hotel. Ownership changed hands several times as the building changed from a hotel to a speakeasy back to a hotel with a reputation for good food.
Pittsburgh annexed Allegheny City as ownership of the business changed hands, with the current owners coming onto the scene in the 1970’s. They put a bunch of money into the place restoring it in every detail and taking advantage of all of the accoutrements that came with the premises from ice boxes to an absolutely exquisite bar. The place is living history. It also serves lots and lots of German food and beer and reasonable prices. I am sure that many of you who go to the Pirates or Steelers games have frequented Max’s Allegheny Tavern more than once as it is located relatively close to the stadiums.
I really wanted to like this place. It IS a Pittsburgh institution, and receives rave reviews from just about anybody who goes there. But for me… not so much.
My wife and got there about 6:00, and were greeted by the ta-da girl at the desk with a scowl that went to the floor. I didn’t know that we had done anything wrong but walk into the door and asked for a table for two. She looked perturbed that we were there. She then studied her seating chart, and led us to undoubtedly the worst table in this relatively large restaurant…right off of the central traffic aisle next to a serving station in front of the woman’s restroom with air conditioner blowing hurricane force wind across the table. And the place was ½ empty. There were plenty of other tables. So we do what we normally do when faced with that issue, we picked up the menus and silverware and moved to another table in the room across the room.
Let’s talk about the room. There are several dining areas in the restaurant, all of which are extremely attractive including a spectacular bar with numerous booths for two that were empty. Then there was this room where we were, which was barren and cold and only had one other party in it…a table of six with several children. It was downright depressing. The room was just plain dismal and obviously an add on.
The waitress was cordial enough, but we felt positively weird. We made the best of it, and ordered some very good German beer that was on tap recommended by the waitress. The menu is extensive and impressive, mostly German with a few Italian items thrown into the mix. It includes everything from Wursts to Corned Beef to Hot Dogs to Burgers to Schnitzels. My wife ordered Weiner Schnitzel with red cabbage and I ordered the Jager Schnitzel (schnitzel with a mushroom gravy) both of which were just fine. Schnitzel is schnitzel, and as schnitzel goes, this was good. For a side, we both ordered potato pancakes. They were okay, but I have had much better. Dinner rolls were dry, but served with a wonderful apple butter which sort of made up for it. For dessert, we ordered something called an Italian love cake…which was a chocolate cake layered with ricotta and frosted with this spectacular chocolate icing. This was really, really, really good. It looked dry, but it was as moist as can be, and not too sweet so you could actually enjoy it. Oh yes, the Einlauf soup is very good…chicken soup with dumplings…served piping hot, delicately seasoned, just the way I like it.
But here’s there thing. German food, in and of itself, is not particularly exciting no matter where you go. You go to a German restaurant mostly to experience the atmosphere and have some fun. Those of you that know Columbus think Schmidt’s Sausage Haus in German Village. Sitting in a cold, both figuratively and literally, sterile room is not fun. Not even the piped in music reached the room…just the whining little darlin’s from the table next to ours. A piece of schnitzel with a potato pancake cannot make that kind of a situation any better or enjoyable. There are other German restaurants in Pittsburgh that offer a better total experience. You shouldn’t have to ask for it. It should be offered to you as a matter of course. If the restaurant is filled, that's one thing. But this place was 1/2 empty.
I cannot in conscience recommend Max’s. Maybe it’s different on another night. Maybe it’s different if there is a home game at one of the stadiums. Maybe it’s different if a different hostess that could actually smile greeted you at the door and worried more about the experience of the guest than obviously trying to somehow equalize out station assignments in an add on room. And they ought to get rid of that table. That should not be foisted on anyone coming into your restaurant to spend money.
Maybe I will try it again. Maybe I won’t. If you go, don’t hesitate to speak up if you are not satisfied with seating arrangements. Pretty surroundings can make a piece of schnitzel go down a whole hell of a lot easier.
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